The Inspiration Behind Submerged

SPOILER ALERT!

READ NO FURTHER IF YOU HAVE NOT READ THE SUBMERGED SERIES.

I’m sure you’ve heard of authors having wild dreams that inspired their novel. In my case, that’s completely true. One night about a year ago, I felt as though I was watching a full-length movie as I slept. What started as a dream about a shy girl (Abby) meeting a popular guy (Dennis) from another school soon turned into a nightmare when his true colors (and red flags) began to show (pressuring her into sex, never introducing her to his family and friends, only hanging out with her when it was convenient for him). Deep down, Abby knew something was wrong about Dennis’s behavior, that it was odd that she didn’t know any of his friends, that he kept putting off taking her to his house to meet his parents. They never went out on dates. He said he just wanted privacy with her, to talk and get to know her without the loudness of the world or the eyes of strangers getting in the way. But then he started grabbing her arms when they’d argue about these very things, leaving behind bruises. And then they started having sex, something Abby thought she was ready for, since she loved Dennis. His behavior after the fact (getting angry when she had questions about how it should have felt) caused her to regret her decision to lose her virginity to him. Being inexperienced with sex, Abby thought asking the guy she was doing it with what to expect, etc. would have led to him easing her concerns. But Dennis felt like she was insulting his performance, and rather than try to make things better, he continued to ignore any questions or concerns she had on the matter. He even convinced her that they’d be safe without condoms, something that resulted in her pregnancy (though this does NOT happen in the novel). In the end, Abby discovered she was pregnant (again, this does NOT happen in the novel). She wants to wait to tell Dennis after his homecoming dance. In the end, Dennis showed up drunk (and late) to pick her up for the dance. When she refused to have sex with him upstairs in her bedroom, blurting out that she was pregnant, he became angry and accused her of getting pregnant on purpose to ruin his future. After grabbing her forcefully and hauling her into a wall, Abby ran from her room, but when she made it to the staircase, Dennis pushed her from behind, causing her to fall and miscarry (though she didn’t know it right away). Fearing for her life, she ran to her father’s room, grabbed his gun and shot Dennis dead (he’d chased after her, screaming that she was dead).

Now, if you’ve read Submerged, you know the story doesn’t quite go down the same. Though there are similarities, the ending has changed. And since I love happy endings, and creating complex characters, Matt was born. Sweet and caring, responsible and kind, he was the complete opposite of Dennis. Unfortunately, he and Abby had been friends for so long that the feelings they were each beginning to have for one another were confusing (but Matt caught on sooner than she did). Abby shied away from what she felt, never having given serious thought to being with Matt romantically. It wasn’t until Matt got a girlfriend that she began to experience jealousy (though she didn’t know at the time that she was feeling that way). Again, she dismissed her feelings. She wanted to make things work with Dennis, having become absorbed by him and their fractured relationship. Eventually, everything she’d shoved down came rising to the surface, suffocating her and refusing to let her deny the truth: she loved Matt. She loved him more than just a friend. She wanted forever with him. And she even confessed her feelings to him. Unfortunately, she’d yet to break things off with Dennis.

I’ve gotten a little off topic here, but it’s so easy to become submerged in the story (heh heh, see what I did there?).

Anyway, my Submerged dream started out with a love-struck couple and ended horrifically. Like Abby, I barely saw it coming. And by the time I had, I was so overwhelmed and confused (as Abby was). I was living through the horrors with her. Dennis’s excuses for his behavior (school and football were so stressful) seemed legit at first. Him not realizing how strong he was and profusely apologizing for hurting her? Seemed sincere. But then he went postal, his behavior only getting worse. By the time I awakened, I was in shock, having felt every single emotion Abby had. Having been terrified as she’d fallen down the stairs, heartbroken when she’d lost her baby, and stricken with grief, guilt and an intense pain in my chest upon shooting Dennis, I was left breathless in bed.

And then I got up and wrote it all down.

Months later, after another project had been written and queried (I’ve since tossed that one), I finally started writing Submerged. I wrote it out in seven days. Yes, SEVEN DAYS (long nights, lunch breaks, the ENTIRE weekend from dawn till midnight or later). Then I went back and edited it, adding more details, clearer dialogues and scenes… and then I put it away. A couple weeks later, I revised it again. Weeks after that, again. And so on and so forth. When I got sick of looking at it, I knew it HAD to be ready. We authors tend to want perfection, but in our eyes, our work is never good enough. So, I said to myself, “It’s gonna have to be good enough.” I gave it to readers I trusted to get their feedback, and I was surprised when they all LOVED it. They begged me for the second one, which at that point, I’d actually begun writing. I promised them I’d have it ready in a couple months. And when Unleashed was as polished as I could get it, I gave it to those same readers. And they LOVED it even more than Submerged. They thought it was the end, that after two books, everything was finished. I later surprised them with a third novel, Overcoming, and they got back to me telling me Overcoming turned out to be their favorite.

I was stunned. Each book was loved more than the last. And they couldn’t get Abby and Matt out of their minds, often discussing them as though they were real people. To me (and hey, to them too), they felt REAL.

And stories like this, individuals like this, are indeed real. What Abby went through is something a lot of women (and men) experience. Abuse is a very real issue, one that I needed to bring to the surface. With all these bad boy novels coming out, about guys who change after meeting the right girl (often a shy, smart, sweet, maybe slightly or seriously insecure version), I wanted to shed light on the fact that not every jaded, mysterious, quiet, sexy dark vibes guy changes. Sometimes, their behavior isn’t a mask or a defense mechanism. Sometimes they’re just… bad guys.

Abby got away from Dennis, or she at least tried to. He didn’t want to let her go, and he certainly didn’t want anyone else to have her. He turned into a stalker, even going as far as breaking into her home and planting a creepy symbolic item in her bedroom. Let's not forget how he stole Flutter too (the stuffed animal Matt won for her). He waited for her after school, at a place she was supposed to feel safe at, taking away that security. He took away how safe she felt at home and at school. She even quit her job (per her parents wishes) to reduce the chance of him hurting her. But no matter what Abby did, he was always there to keep her on edge and shatter any peace or safety she could get.

Abby, being kind and forgiving by nature, didn’t want to ruin Dennis’s entire future by pressing charges against him. After his father called her, pleading with her not to do something so damaging to his son’s future, she declined pressing charges, believing Dennis’s dad when he told her that she wouldn’t be seeing him around anymore.

Dennis didn’t do as his father asked. He just couldn’t stay away. Her relationship with Matt (fake at first but soon becoming very real) drove him mad. Dennis had what I believe is Narcissistic Personality Disorder. He was emotionally needy and selfish in his decisions as a result of his feelings for Abby. I also believe he was emotionally neglected by his family, further escalating his condition. He was clinically depressed. This, in the end, led to his death. (Disclaimer: This is merely my personal opinion. I hold no degree in psychology).

Did Dennis have to die? No. Wouldn’t it have been better for him to get treatment? Of course. But I wanted to stay true somehow to the ending of my nightmare. In a sense, I felt that I owed it to myself to keep certain elements the same. His death, horrible as it was, set Abby free. He never intended to let her go.

After finishing Unleashed, I couldn’t get Matt and Abby out of my mind or heart. Their story just wasn’t FINISHED. So, Overcoming was created, giving me (and hopefully my readers) closure for them.

I’d like to thank everyone who has taken the time to read my novels. You are the reason I keep writing. Without your love and support, I couldn’t keep this up.

XOXO,

K.R. Cook